new year...

its 2009...365days have come to pass and i wonder what i have learned...plenty. with what i have experienced this year, i would think that 2008 would be my main event, my highlight, my peak year.
i had some struggles with joe that went on for months. i thought it would go on forever. it still hurts, believe me...but im no stranger to pain. i try to hide it sometimes, but the insecurities kick in every now and then and it slaps you in the face. i learned to leave some for myself...and not let it all hang out. i learned to that i need to be more cautious...just because you're together does not mean nothing else will happen to the relationship. nothing is set in stone, nothing is final...ive learned to always keep my guard up.
after our little bout...i had some struggles of my own. back to back to back to back...one after the other if you get my point. i just learned that the Lord will not let you down. he will give you plenty of resources and people to help you back on your feet and get back on that fight and struggle to survive.
i have matured so much. i hope i dont have the wrinkles or age spots to prove it but i feel like i have aged, therefore wised up. i know now what i need to do to get my life back on track, i believe therefore i know i can do it. the only hard part is doing it. the planning is perfect, the execution lacking...but 2009 brings hope of anew...gives me the critical optimism that i can do it. and i will...believe me...i have set my mind into it and i will not be unaccomplished this year. im sick and tired of dreaming and wondering and planning and organizing without any results tucked under my belt. i am done...2009 is then reckoning...it is the year that i shall do what i am supposed to do and accomplish what i am supposed to accomplish. joe was saying that he's turning 22 and has accomplished nothing and i say im turning 27 and accomplished what??? it is but hightime that i take this yearning, this need to fulfill and simply DO IT. i have my mind set and my goals written to a tee...watch me be...