Let's Start Over...

So many things have happened this month that it has been a big eye-opener...the deluge of information has been indeed overwhelming...if that's not redundant then i don't know what is...
It has happened yet again...and somehow i do think that it's partially my fault...i really don't know if i'm overacting or that i have pushed him to such brinks but it can't be just him...after all we are a couple and that we share this life together...
i don't mean to short-change myself but i do feel that i do have things in me i need to change...and there are somethings in him that he does need to change as well...
i do need to let him go...understand that for someone that has been alone, one cannot expect that he would not miss being alone...i do tend to be a little needy, only because i did feel that his love has weaned these past few years...i just never felt it...and i guess i pushed it and pushed it until it just broke...
it just hurts...you cannot just imagine how completely unfair it felt when i found out that once again...here we go again...one more time...for the second time around...im gonna have to go through this...to know that you are never enough, that he is never content, that he will always want more because, again, LIA, YOU ARE NEVER ENOUGH...and that people knew behind my back what was going on...the pain is like a knife cutting down your back...and i guess that's the part he will never understand...just to look at his face while your tears are rolling down your cheeks...absolutely no remorse...blank...not even an ounce of pity nor love...and it hurts all the more to know that you want it to work out and he doesn't...
but we all have to move on at some point...i don't know if i will get over everything but i am gonna try...if not because of stupidity but i guess credit it to love...yes, i love him more than anything in the world...i do...and that's what's gonna push me to keep on trying...to just keep on holding on...
we have come to an understanding...start over...yes...and hopefully, we'll be a better couple coming out of this...i hope so...because i guess after all the downs...there's no other way but up...